Guilty Pleasures of a "Loser"

I've been on this weight loss journey for quite some time now. Almost 3 years actually. Along the way I've accumulated a few guilty pleasures. Weight loss and food can easily begin to take over your life, especially if you have some.....issues with food like I do. Here are some guilty pleasures and habits that I'm sure others on their weight loss journey (losers!) can relate to.

1. Overfeeding others. This one makes me feel so evil. If my boyfriend offhandedly mentions that he wants pizza, I will ENCOURAGE him to buy eat and "treat himself" while I have a salad. I just love to watch him indulge and do what I can't do without ruining my entire week. Most nights I make us separate meals so that I can volume eat, but I still savor every bite of mac and cheese that he takes.

2. Daydream about being a 6'4" man. If only I were a tall guy! I could eat soooo much food and maintain my weight! I basically have the appetite of a big guy anyway, might as well just turn into one, right? The struggle of a average/short girl trying to lose weight is heartbreaking. I'm lucky I'm not super short. I know overweight short girls who have to cut to 1,200 cals or below to lose. Guys are so lucky!!

3. Food porn, EVERYWHERE. YouTube videos and Instagram especially. I love to look at ooey gooey chocolate or cheese. I can just scroll through Instagram ad see the worst possible foods calorie-wise. It's so crazy that even I couldn't even imagine indulging on something so insane! But it sure is nice to look...

4. Fit chicks. This one is part "goals!!" and part self hate. It's really cool to look at people who worked really hard to achieve a sexy body. I like to think that I could look like them someday. But the longer I look, the less positive the experience becomes. I get jealous, I suppose. Jealous of their discipline and determination. Then I start to feel bad about myself. "I'll never look like that." None of this stops me from following those fit chicks on Instagram though.

-Amanda

Goals on goals on goals!!

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend. I just wanted to touch base about some of my goals and what this blog means to me for the coming months. Writing about my journey really helps to keep me accountable, even if there is no one reading. Plus it's nice just to get all of my ideas and thoughts out of my head and into the world.

1. See the 130s before the end of the year.

2. Diet down as much as possible before adding cardio

3. Join a gym to start weight lifting

4. NO cheat days. Only occasional cheat meals.

5. Post here at least once a week!

6. Get better at doing my makeup

Current weight: 151.8

I'm going to be straight up and tell you guys that I had a weekend of binge eating after my last post. It was bad. So it took me the entire past week to get where I was before all of the eating. I ate chinese food, taco bell, Wendy's, and so much junk. If I want to have a shot at reaching my 130s goal before the year ends, that CAN'T keep happening! I was yo yo dieting all summer. The lowest I reached was around 145. When I first got started dieting I was on top of my shit and was able to keep under 140. I want to get back there.

I always wonder what my full potential would look like if I just stuck with it and stay consistent and committed for more than a month. 

So here's to getting back on that horse and trying again.

-Amanda

I'm BaaAAaack!

It's been awhile, huh?

I've been gone and finishing college. I graduated and now I'm a teacher! Woo!! During that time I had to throw a lot of my diet and exercise to the wayside. For the past month or so I've been back on track. I'm finding it a little more difficult this time around, so I'm back to keep myself accountable.

Current Weight: 151.6
Goal Weight? Back to the 130s!

2015 was a good year though! I met my goal of running over 100 miles in a year, which I am SUPER proud of. Right now I am trying to lay off of the cardio and plan to focus on weight training in the future.

Currently I am trying to lose as much weight as possible (without dipping my calories too low!) before I officially get back into the gym. My reasoning for this is that I always go balls to the wall when losing weight. I run an hour a day PLUS lower my calories super low super fast. I want to take it slow this time because I am SUPER busy being a first year teacher. I want to see what I can accomplish on diet alone and then slowly incorporate weight training.

Should I post progress pictures? How often should I post? We'll see!

-Amanda